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  1. Further conversations with my parrot

    I was practising my dancing moves and the parrot was watching me whilst munching his way through one of my Easter eggs.

    'What do you think you're doing?' he asked.

    'I've just been told that I have a dance medal test coming up soon . . . and stop eating my Easter eggs', I replied.

    'Well, I'd be a bit worried if I were you . . . and you've got loads more Easter eggs stashed away. I saw you hide them.'

    'I'm just not ready to take the test. ...
  2. Stop!

    It's driving mad, but like a drug I can't stop it!

    I'm talking about ebay. I know it's been around for ages, but I've just taken it on board, so to speak. I can't stop bidding for things, even if I don't really want, or need them. Can anyone help me? It's addictive, and far better than a lover, as it's going into the unknown . . . and it's exciting. I don't even have to get all dressed up for it. I can sit on this laptop, in my pyjamas, no make up, and no one cares a damn. ...
  3. The End of The Affair

    How many permutations are there when it comes to reasons for ending an affair? During my time playing this game, I've probably heard them all. The latest one comes after nine years and it seems that painting with him has become a passion instead of me! Should I feel upset, angry, or amused that a paintbrush has taken my place in his affections?

    It wasn't a passionate affair, more a comfortable relationship and everything comes to a natural ending. Should I have seen it coming? ...
  4. Conversations with my parrot (5)

    I was drinking a cup of coffee in the kitchen when it came to me. 'I've had enough of this dismal weather, I'm going to book a Caribbean cruise right now!'
    The parrot was in the middle of his mid-morning exercises, and had one leg raised in the air. 'And, pray, what will I be doing while you're off on this jaunt?'

    'Oh, I've thought of that', I replied cheerily, 'Old Mrs. Kravitz from next door can come in from time to time and keep you company.'

    The parrot ...
  5. THe LL Panto

    Quote Originally Posted by Stingray View Post
    Simon, previously known as Les, was found in a Leiderhosen bar playing with his moustache and licking Fanta's face, a cheeky blonde wench serving frothy beer from a hugh pair of jugs.

    The band struck up 'Um pa pa' and Simon disappeared again in haze of multicoloured petticoats, leaving only the taste of the ocean in the nostrils of French''s's's''s's's' horn.
    Phants got up off the floor and pushed her jugs back behind the nippleless corset
    Simon s head got caught ...
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